The Difference between a Bribe and a Reward

Here is a great perspective concerning ways to motivate others. What is the difference between a bribe and a reward? Dr. Robert Rohm is an expert in personality and behavior styles. Here is what he wrote in his most recent newsletter:

"I have often shared experiences with you from my days as a school principal. I enjoyed that part of my vocational experience very much. It was always a delight to interact with teachers, students, and their parents. I especially enjoyed the children - probably because I am just a grown child myself!


In our school I created three honor rolls in which students could participate: the academic honor roll, for students who made all A's and B's on their report card; one for good conduct, for students who consistently showed an obedient, cooperative nature; and one for good attitude. (The reason I differentiated between the good conduct honor roll and the good attitude honor roll is that I quickly discovered that it was possible for some students to have good conduct, but to have a poor attitude. I encouraged them to have both.)

At the end of each grading period, we would publish the three honor rolls in our school newspaper. We would also announce them over the P.A. system and post them in the hallways. We tried to make it a very good experience so that the students would try to achieve new levels of success.

On one particular occasion I was talking to a parent who said, "Why are you always trying to bribe these children? Seems to me that every time I turn around you are offering another bribe to get them to do what they ought to do in the first place!" Because I had some very good mentors along the way toward my educational career, I had a good answer for that parent. And, just in case you have ever had the same thoughts, I would like to share my answer with you so that you can put this issue to rest once and for all.

I explained to the parent that the dictionary definition of a bribe is payment used to corrupt the behavior of another person. On the other hand, the definition of reward is payment or recognition for service or merit. In other words, for doing what is right. I jokingly asked the parent if he expected to receive a paycheck at the end of the week for the work he had done. When he answered in the affirmative, I asked if he considered that paycheck a bribe or a reward. After thinking about it for a minute, he said, "I see what you mean. There really is nothing wrong with rewarding someone for doing something right. It is not a bribe after all; it actually is a reward."

That way of thinking has been a hallmark of the way I operate on a daily basis. Don't you want to be rewarded when you do something well? I doubt very seriously if anyone would work forty hours per week for a company that paid its employees with a simple pat on the back. I think you want more than that. I think you want a paycheck. I think you want a reward!

That is not to say that we should not sometimes do something just for the sake of doing it. I believe that it is important that we do what is right regardless of the outcome or circumstances. I am just trying to differentiate and delineate between two issues that are very close to each other. When a person is bribed to do something, there is an ulterior motive and a deception involved. But, on the other hand, when a person is rewarded for doing something, it is usually open, honest and considered to be a noteworthy and worthwhile accomplishment. There is nothing wrong with the fact that we need more than just recognition for our efforts. And, it is okay when we are rewarded publicly for what we do.

Many times we parents think that our children should learn to do chores around the house just for the sake of doing chores. And, it is important that children learn self-discipline, character and integrity as they grow up. But, I don't believe there is anything wrong with giving a child an allowance for doing a good job as they learn a strong work ethic. As they endeavor to fulfill their job responsibilities, they should have the opportunity to be rewarded for their work as well. Of course, it is up to each individual parent to determine how much they will reward their children and what kind of rewards they will give them, but please do not think it is ever a bribe to pay your child to learn how to work hard, have a good attitude, and display good conduct. All of those things constitute a successful life and to be rewarded for that is certainly no bribe.

Mark Twain once said that the difference between the right word and almost right word is the difference between lightening and a lightening bug. I think there is that much difference between a bribe and a reward. Maybe it is time to sit down and think of new ways to reward your own children or those who work with you.

Perhaps you need to learn to reward yourself as well. When you are working toward a goal, decide on an appropriate reward beforehand so that you have something to look forward to once that goal has been achieved. It is a worthy thing to set goals, accomplish them, and then to be rewarded for them.

I know I want to be rewarded for the good things I do in my life and I would be willing to bet the same is true of you! Right?"

Robert A. Rohm Ph.D.

Personality Insights, Inc.

The Best Gift Ever

Tis the season to think of our friends and family during the holiday season. What gift should I choose? What would they want as a gift? Sometimes the answer does not come so easily, right?

Then comes the financial obligation to gift giving. How much should I spend? Etc. Etc.

The best gift to give that someone special actually cannot be found in any department store or mall or even online. This gift is something no one else can go get for you.

If you spend any amount of time thinking about what to give as gifts this year, consider the one item that cannot be replaced or made up with something else in its place.

Time. It is the cheapest, most valuable gift you can give anyone and it is the most appreciated. In today's world where we are spending less and less time with the people that mean the most to us, time has become a commodity that is quite valuable. The trick is finding extra "time" in our schedules to free up to make other plans.

But ask yourself - do you really try your best to free up time for those special people in your life? Do you find yourself making excuses for things that maybe you accidentally are forgetting are more valuable than other elements? Do you need to rethink your priority list? What parts of your day can be redone to save time?

There are lots of help out there to help us rethink our activities and to help us be more effecient. Since there are a finite number of hours we can work with, we must rely on ourselves to refocus and put forth more energy to what is most important in our lives - family and friends. I know you have heard of the phrase "stop and smell the roses". When was the last time you did so? Don't wait until it is too late!

So this year, work on the gift that keeps us socially and emotionally healthy - give time doing things you and others enjoy doing and use it to capture life long memories! Dinner, movies, traveling, visiting, - just take any time you have to spend with others! (And you may find that to be the best gift ever!)

Removing Negative Self-talk

One of the worst enemies of a business networker is THEMSELVES! Myself included, the negative self-talk has ruined an evening and forget the fact I even thought about goals to accomplish! I always knew the value of networking and I understand the principles of how to work a room. But I cannot tell you how many times I have allowed myself to bail on opportunities that have stared me in the face at an event because I allowed my social fears to get the best of me!


The funny thing is that ALL of us have been networking most of our adult lives! It is definitely not a new concept! How many weddings, showers, kids events, sporting events, reunions, birthday parties, etc. have we attended over the years? Do you realize you have been networking? Networking is simply a way to connect with others and develop relationships that will be beneficial to both parties.


The opportunities that networking brings to business settings can be maximized if you set goals for yourself. How many people would I like to meet? Who would be a good contact for me? Who would be a good source of referrals for me? How can I develop relationships with key people? Who can I help in their business? So on and so forth...


For me, knowing that everyone else has been in the negative self-talk mode at one time or another helps me deal with it. I need to reassure myself that I do have more to offer others than I think. And the same more than likely goes for my colleagues.


So get over your inhibitions, and network!

The Challenges of Diversity in the Workplace

Diversity brings on age-old challenges that should be embraced, not shunned. As groups of people from different cultures and generations continue to form our society today, we bring together a plethora of ideas, experiences, and innovation that continues to shape our world. The challenge comes when we cannot overcome the barriers we face with diversity - we are faced with fears of miscommunication and limited knowledge of our neighbors to the point of hindering relationships. How much productivity is lost because off generational and cultural diversity? How many relationships are broken because of miscommunication and/or misunderstandings? We can discover how to face the hopes and fears of diversity to create a positive work environment and effective strategic alliances. Simply, to grow our businesses we must embrace diversity. We need to work together to open up communication and get an insight to diversity that will help us focus on building healthy relationships with others.

Making Networking Efforts Work

I am currently working on a seminar to be delivered in the near future highlighting networking efforts. So many people are fearful of their efforts among other things that the opportunity to make valuable connections decreases drastically. Have you experienced any special strategies before or during a networking event that has worked for you?

What an Expo!

Hello everyone!

I had a wonderful experience today at the WBEC South Business Expo held at the Sheraton Hotel in New Orleans. I have met so many people, and I just could not get enough of it! This organization is ALL about helping women-owned businesses thrive and what a great opportunity to talk with other WBEC members (all certified!) about their experiences within this organization and out.

I also had the privilege to be a speaker at one of the workshops. The title was How to Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say! I think everyone had a good time and one of my goals was to have everyone bring one tool they learned back to the office with them and see how it worked with their colleagues. If you were one of the attendees to my seminar, please give me some feedback! I would like to know if you enjoyed it and what I can do to improve it!

Everyone - please check out WBEC South 's website (www.wbecsouth.org) if you are not familiar with it! If networking is your thing or if you want networking to work for you, why not spend your time with others that need to share the same information?

Thanks for reading my blog! Thoughts or suggestions?

Practice Makes Permanent

As a society we are used to the cliche "Practice Makes Perfect". However a very wise man recently told me this is not the case.

Actually, PRACTICE MAKES PERMANENT.

Take a child learning to play an instrument in her school band. She may practice her flute daily working on her fingering chart, practicing her scales, and focusing on the new music given to her by her teacher. However even if she practices every day, this does not mean she will be a better flutist. If she is not taught/shown the proper way of performing a task (playing an instrument), then the practice is only going to make the incorrect mannerism a habit, and a bad one at that.

This is also true when working on our communication skills both at home and at the office. If we are not taught effective ways to communicate with others, and we will continue to repeat the same problems, and we will not improve our communicating style, we will only reinforce bad habits of poor communication.

Let's say you want to improve your communication skills by putting more time and effort into your responses. However, how many times, for example, do you find yourself thinking about your response even while the person is still asking their question? Many times the most important information is missed because we have tuned out after the first 5 seconds! If this practice continues, this will surely become a habit hard to break!

So what can you do? In most industries, there is opportunity for hours of training to help employees perform better in their jobs. Unfortunately, communication skills classes are not offered as much as they should be!

You may have to take it upon yourself to get communications training on your own. Read self-improvement books, attend workshops, and participate in work groups all focused on communication skill development. Toastmasters, for example, can help you improve your speaking and listening skills - and you actually have peers to help evaluate you and offer advice for improvement.

Find opportunities to first learn the correct way to communicate and then begin practicing those new skills. Then practice will make perfect!

Pain is Not Necessarily a Bad Word!

Many times business professionals look for ideas to get their potential customers to "make a move" and finalize sales. Business owners look to help its sales force by utilizing marketing techniques such as advertising, joining networking groups, and offering sales training classes.

No matter what form of strategy you use to find potential customers and to get them interested in your product or service, we all know we need to find out what "pains" them in their businesses or personal lives. Unfortunately it is the "pain" that motivates people to make a move. It's almost like telling a child not to touch the hot stove, but sometimes they don't believe you until they do touch it and get burned. We can provide preventive information all day long that can help customers, but until they actually experience the pain of the problem is when they are finally ready to make a move.

So now what do you do? How can you get customers to be more proactive in preventative care for their businesses?

For starters, learn more about your target market. Especially in today's economy, no one can afford just anything. People are starting to be more cost conscious and they look for ways to save money instead of spending it. When you learn more about your target market, learn to ask the appropriate questions that focus on their potential "pains". For instance, if you are an IT company looking for customers who can benefit from off-site backup of their databases, then asking questions about what the costs it would take to replenish all of the data if their network were to suddenly crash or their office were to suffer from a natural disaster. Use examples to illustrate the importance of the preventative measures you are asking them to take.

What if you are a staffing company looking for opportunities to find placement for temporary administrative professionals, then you might ask the questions of how much does it cost to supply health insurance, worker's compensation insurance, training, and other start up costs when hiring an individual when you can utilize a staffing company to take those responsibilities for you? What other job responsibilities could they be handling instead of screening potential employees?

In the end, we have to ask questions that people are asking themselves right now in order to save money and raise revenue. So for your business, ask yourself if it is easier to find customers where you can lower their monthly expenses, or are you looking for customers that need to have their revenues increase?

The solutions you provide must be able to provide relief to them in order to get them to move forward with you.

Therefore, business professionals, are you focusing on the "Pain"?

Sweet Smell of Success!

How do you measure your success? This can be personal and/or business. Is it having a net profit at the end of the year? Is it the ability to purchase large ticket items such as a larger home, family car or other luxury items like a boat? Or is it reflective of the amount of time you can spend with the family?

No matter what you define as your “success” in life, an important element is realizing what inspires you to motivate you to strive for that “success”.

Gardeners may measure their success based of the health of their plants and flowers. How many buds and blooms can I get my roses to produce this year? What types of food, amounts of water, and maintenance of chemicals will I need to keep the rose bushes healthy and happy?

The gardener, year and year, through experience, can tell you what strategies he or she uses (formulas) that will produce the results they are looking for (success).

Owning a business, whether large, medium, or small, uses the same kind of mindset. Success can happen by chance now and then, but to ensure continued success, one must discover certain elements in order to reproduce their results and achieve success year after year.

Here is a brief synopsis of what elements are needed to produce a calculated “success” for a business:

1) Define what success looks like for your business.
2) Define what motivates you as the owner to work towards your success.
3) Write down the steps you believe will be necessary to achieve your success. This is an important step because you may need the advice of veteran business owners (successful ones of course!) or better yet a business coach to help you identify in detail these steps.
4) Break down your steps into realistic, achievable goals. A goal is defined as an objective one is trying to reach after a period of time. The time element can by short term (less that a year) or long term (greater than a year). It is important that the short term and even the long term goals are realistic and achievable. If they are not, then you may be setting yourself for disappointment and eventually failure. Again, a coach can help you put things into perspective.
5) Determine how you are going to keep yourself accountable for working on your goals. You need to keep reminding yourself that your goals exist for a reason and that they are an important part for you achieving your success.
6) Feel good about your achieving your goals. Achievement is definitely an accomplishment! Working towards your short term goals (30 – 90 days to start) and better yet being able to achieve these goals will help you gain confidence and gain more motivation to keep working toward your ultimate goal – your success!
7) When you feel you have lost track of your goals or you have gone astray, go back and review your goals you have written down. Remember what motivated you then to create these goals and relive that mindset. Put back into action what you have written down for yourself to do. Sometimes adjustments need to be made depending on the circumstances that caused you to get distracted from your goals. The gardener, for instance, may need to change his chemical formula if the roses are being affected by a disease or insect that was not yet accounted for. He may need to consult with a horticulturist (business coaches) to help him identify what he not did do in the beginning to foresee this problem. I bet he will learn to account for this problem next time as well!

Once you get to the point of getting close to achieving the success you have defined for yourself, how do you keep that success ongoing? One thing is for sure. Do not attempt to make drastic changes in your formula especially all at one time. As challenges come along, you make specific changes to accommodate those challenges. But make sure these changes are calculated and well thought out! Otherwise your rose bushes may not last through the next season!