Is behavior style training for you?

Ever have trouble helping others see things your way?

Do you get frustrated because people misunderstand you?

Can't seem to get your point across effectively?

That was how I felt about 11 years ago when I started my own company. I had the motivation to reach my goal and I had people surrounding me who wanted to help me reach that goal. However, defining the actions items to other in order to get there was another story!

Fortunately I was introduced to the DISC Behavior Style assessment and I found a new way to approach others when communicating that was way more effective than what I was doing initially! I also realized things about myself that maybe others say but I was too stubborn to realize - traits that are good in some ways but overbearing to others at times.

I already knew I was a goal-oriented person, but I did not understand why others did not have that drive I had especially when they were business owners too. I desire results and (here is the overbearing part) I desired results NOW! But on the other hand, I do consider my emotional well-being as important and will concentrate on making sure I support the emotional well-being of others with just as much respect.

Well I finally realized that not many people are "wired" the same way as I am. And even though I thought my way was the right way (and maybe it was), I was not considering the needs of others such as their style of decision making or even their concerns when reciprocating thoughts and ideas.

So when I pursued certification as a human behavior consultant, I changed my views on my relationships with my family, co-workers, and colleagues. It became ALL about understanding their needs instead of forcing my needs upon them. I found I worked better with my colleagues when I was able to understand what actions and considerations actually motivated them - I could speak their language (behaviorally speaking!) and accomplish communicating on the same page which benefited all of us instead of just me.

So if you are concerned about the health of your relationships in your personal or business life - consider making some time for a self-discovery! Find out if your perspectives on communicating and engaging with others need some fine tuning and be open to change! You may find out you can be even more productive and easier to relate to if you open yourself to this idea.

Last question - What could you lose if your give DISC training a try?

Diversity as an Asset, not a Liability

Diversity is such an intriguing topic. It represents inclusivity, variety, and advancement of all kinds. Just consider where would we be today if the diverse groups of people did not come together and work as a team to create this great country of ours! Think about it, not only did our forefathers lay the foundation for future generations to live better lives, they also made some major mistakes along the way and they learned what not to do - all for us!

Unfortunately, though, people don't seem to warm up to the idea of diversity easily when trying to make sense of the differences between people. This is just my observation, but why is it that people, in general, seem to reject the ideas and thoughts of others so quickly - without considering all sides of the situation? For instance, when people are upset or feel insulted, instead of trying to find out why a comment or action was performed in the first place, the emotions run out of control and judgements are placed - many times erroneously.

I guess that is why I have enjoyed learning and practicing communication skill development - we have so much to learn from one another. I want to be "on the same page" as the person I am working with. I want to know why they are upset and what I can do to fix it. Of course, I am not as successful as I would like to be, but as I get older, I realize the value in taking my time to consider what is really happening during stressful situations. I recently was in the emergency room with a family member and I overheard a bit of a commotion in the next room. A husband was arguing with the nurse to give his wife a "bolus" or cocktail of pain killers immediately! And his reasoning was that he knew what was best for his wife since his mother was a RN for 60 years. Unfortunately the nurse became offended by the treatment of the husband and lashed out. And the situation continued for several minutes until security was called. My thoughts about the situation as I was listening to both people argue back and forth, is that I could hear the pain in the husband's voice just wanted relief for his wife who was in pain. He was projecting his - what I call - fear for his wife onto the nurse. I remember wondering if the nurse realized this and if she did, could the situation been turned around if the husband felt understood?

And how does this story relate to diversity? I guess not too much, except that if you want to embrace what different cultures, generations, religions, and so forth have to offer, opening yourself to "listen" - really listen to what others has to offer - it can create healthier, happier relationships with people. Listen to the words as well as the emotions that are put into the conversation. People in general want to feel safe and valued for their opinion - and you never know how much another person from another diverse group can bring to you to help enhance your life too!