Removing Negative Self-talk

One of the worst enemies of a business networker is THEMSELVES! Myself included, the negative self-talk has ruined an evening and forget the fact I even thought about goals to accomplish! I always knew the value of networking and I understand the principles of how to work a room. But I cannot tell you how many times I have allowed myself to bail on opportunities that have stared me in the face at an event because I allowed my social fears to get the best of me!


The funny thing is that ALL of us have been networking most of our adult lives! It is definitely not a new concept! How many weddings, showers, kids events, sporting events, reunions, birthday parties, etc. have we attended over the years? Do you realize you have been networking? Networking is simply a way to connect with others and develop relationships that will be beneficial to both parties.


The opportunities that networking brings to business settings can be maximized if you set goals for yourself. How many people would I like to meet? Who would be a good contact for me? Who would be a good source of referrals for me? How can I develop relationships with key people? Who can I help in their business? So on and so forth...


For me, knowing that everyone else has been in the negative self-talk mode at one time or another helps me deal with it. I need to reassure myself that I do have more to offer others than I think. And the same more than likely goes for my colleagues.


So get over your inhibitions, and network!

Making Networking Efforts Work

I am currently working on a seminar to be delivered in the near future highlighting networking efforts. So many people are fearful of their efforts among other things that the opportunity to make valuable connections decreases drastically. Have you experienced any special strategies before or during a networking event that has worked for you?

When people say networking does not work...

I recently listened to a pod cast by speaker and author David Nour (www.relationshipecenomics.net). In his pod cast, Mr. Nour included factors that inhibit networking success when business people attend networking functions. He was addressing issues when people say “networking does not work”.

I would like to add to Mr. Nour’s message that networking is not for everyone. If networking is a comfortable place to build relationships then keep up the good work. However there are people out there that absolutely frightened at the concept of networking. They understand the concept and they see the value. But these people just are not comfortable in a networking atmosphere. They cannot introduce themselves without feeling faint and nauseous (ok, I am a bit dramatic here!) and extremely uncomfortable.

Since relationship building is about getting comfortable with others, we need to understand what can help make us feel comfortable AND how to help our shy friends feel better and at ease when applying networking techniques.

For example, once I met a woman who attended a women's conference to learn more about how to apply herself as a networker. As she became involved in a conversation with another conference attendee and she commented on how there were a couple of people she wished she could walk up to and introduce herself. But instead she felt nervous and completely frozen. She said she felt like she was intruding. This is a typical reason felt by business people and you can see how it inhibits any productive networking opportunities.

Here is something to consider if you or someone you know experience this same problem. The uncomfortable are made comfortable by helping others. It is just a part of their behavior style. But with a little coaching or mentoring, even an uncomfortable networker can put an effective networking strategy into place.

A "buddy system" is a great way for people to be more comfortable when wanting to meet new people. The more experienced networker can introduce their companion to everyone he/she knows at the event. Another opportunity to get comfortable networking is to be a volunteer at the function. Sign-in tables, greeting attendees, escorting people to where they want to go, handing out goodies, are all ways someone can help out others but can also network at the same time.

So the next time you get a “no” when you ask someone to accompany you to a networking event, consider that they may not be comfortable in that arena. Making them feel comfortable will help to encourage them to step out of their comfort zone and hopefully engage in a positive networking experience!

Annette Wray
annette@annettewray.com